Peace in the Midst of the Storm

Some question God’s existence.  Some believe he’s real, but don’t know Him.  Some know Him as Father and know he’s real because they have felt Him.  Some know he’s real because He has demonstrated His vigilance over them.  I KNOW He’s real because I’ve felt Him pull at my heart to draw closer to Him.  I’ve heard Him speak to me.  I’ve fell into His presence and wept at His feet.  I’ve felt His love warm my heart and His hands hold me close.  His arms have carried me and lifted me up when I couldn’t stand on my own.  In the last few weeks, He has once again fulfilled His promise to me in Hebrews 13:5 where he said He would never leave me nor forsake me.

On July 19, 2011 I went to a weight loss center to see a doctor who could help me lose weight by prescribing me a drug called Adipex.  As the doctor was talking to me and doing the usual exam, she felt around my neck and asked me to swallow a few times.  She discovered a knot in my neck and told me I should go to my family doctor to have it checked out.  My family doctor ordered some tests and the results came back that I had a large cold nodule on the left side of my thyroid that needed to be biopsied and sent me to a surgeon.  I was nervous about the biopsy, but God blessed me with a wonderful doctor and nurses who made the experience much less frightening.  When I went to the doctor for the biopsy results, I received news I wasn’t prepared for.  The nodule had a-typical cells inside of it, but they couldn’t tell if there was cancer present or not.  They said I would need to have the entire thyroid removed then they would send the nodule off to be examined to see if there was cancer in it.

I have never been more scared in my life as I was when the news settled in that I HAD to have this surgery.  Although the surgery wasn’t considered a major surgery, I was still extremely nervous.  All the “what ifs”, confusion and restlessness were creeping up on me.   I was beginning to panic all while trying to hide these feelings from the people around me.  I researched the surgery and know some people who have had been through the surgery and their voice was affected by it.  The Spirit of Fear began to try and take over me.  “You’ll never be able to sing again! The scar you will see every day in the mirror will remind you of the gift you ONCE had.  YOU ARE DONE!”  Knowing that this was an attack from the Devil, I began to fill my Spirit with Scriptures of God’s unfailing love and his promises to me.  I cried to Him for reassurance and to let me be at peace with the decisions I was going to make.  I went to bed crying one night just asking God for guidance and peace.  The next morning when I got to work, I logged onto my computer to find this scripture as my daily bible verse.  “And David said to his son Solomon, ‘Be Strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God - my God - will be with you.  He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord.” (1 Chronicles 28:30)  Suddenly I felt at peace.  God had spoken to me in a way I would’ve never thought he would.  That showed me that He loves me, He knows my every need, He hears me when I call on Him, and He cares enough for me to come to where I am.

On August 25, 2011 I went to the hospital and had my surgery.  God was with me.  I didn’t fear.  I was a little nervous, but I knew God had me in his hands.  I was covered by His blood.  He bore the stripes for my healing over 2,000 years ago.  I was on his mind when he went through all that pain and suffering.  He did it for ME!  He hadn’t brought me that far to leave me yet.  God guided the surgeon’s hands watched over me.  I left recovery and started to heal much faster than they had anticipated.

On August 29, 2011 I received the results from doctor about the nodule he removed during surgery.  It contained cancer that was about a ½” in diameter.  The news was a little nerve-racking, but I know God had, and still has, it all under control. 

The surgery has taken a toll on my voice, but has not damaged it.  I wondered after my surgery if I would be able to sing as high as I could before?  Will it be as clear?  As strong?  I didn’t really worry about it, but the Devil still tried to plant the thoughts in my head.  Fear once again was trying to creep in.  Then…..God spoke to me again.  Last Wednesday night I attended a practice/meeting at my church for our Praise Team which I am a part of.  We all began talking about unity and how important it is to focus on God and not be up there just to hold a microphone.  I started thinking again on how much I really wanted to sing for the glory of God, to pour my love on Him by using that gift that he’s given me, to minister to others by using this gift.  Then I felt God speak to my Spirit, “This Gift I’ve given you is not for you.  You will be restored.”  That was His way of telling me that He’s not finished with me yet.  I remembered the verse in 1 Chronicles that reads, “….until you have finished ALL the work for the service of the house of the Lord.”  He’s not done with me yet.  There are still souls out there that He will use my “gift” of singing to minister.  My prayer today and going forward is for God to show me open doors and opportunities to bless His name and minister to his people and those who are hurting.  He has allowed me to go through this for a reason that hasn’t been revealed to me yet, but I know it will.  He’s allowed me to go through this to help someone else.

I am glad to say today that I am CANCER FREE, and now I’m healing and resting on His promises! 

I go to the thyroid specialist on the September 20 to discuss the radioactive iodine pill I will have to take in mid October.  After this one treatment, I will be done with everything and be able to move on with the rest of my life.

I thank God for the people his has placed in my life, for the healing he is doing in my body and for the gifts he has blessed me with.

Thank you all who have prayed and continue to pray for me.  Be blessed!

The picture below is something I created to remember this part of my life by.

• The 39 red stripes represent the 39 stripes Jesus suffered for our healing over 2,000. (Isaiah 53:5) 
• The butterfly represents my thyroid and life.
• The cross in the butterfly is over the area where the cancer was present.  Because he died for me, I know he loves me and I believe his promise that he’ll never leave me nor forsake me.
• The tree-like symbols along the edge of the red represent family.  There are 4 to represent my husband, my daughter, my son and myself.
• The verse is what I call my “confirmation” verse.  The day after I was confused and apprehensive of the surgery I was about to undergo, God spoke to me through this verse. 
• It was on my computer as my daily scripture that day when I arrived at work. 
• The flower is the Yarrow flower.  It means healing.  Its colors (pink, teal and purple) are the colors that represent thyroid cancer.

Dinner at My House

Yep.  That's my slogan.  I actually have a small metal sign similar to this one hanging in my kitchen.  At my house, dinner is always the worst part of the day. 

My sister was blessed with an innate ability to cook like Rachael Ray.  She can make zucchini and some other things added with it taste like spaghetti and lasagna that I'll actually eat (which is a compliment because I am a very picky eater).  I, on the other hand, inherited my mother's cooking capabilities in her earlier years.  SORRY MOM!  :)  She's a great cook now, but I remember the freezer being stocked with the $1 microwavable pizzas from Winn-Dixie and lots of pop-tarts.  I do remember the smoke alarm frequently going off near the kitchen and my dad fanning the smoke away from it after he reset it so it wouldn't go off again. 

Because I know my cooking capabilities, I don't even have a smoke alarm anywhere near the kitchen.  LOL!  The sad thing is my husband knows what I'm cooking before he even steps in the house by the amount of smoke he sees lingering in the kitchen through the window.  Mostly that happens when I cook pancakes for some reason.

I can, however, cook some things such as chili and vegetable soup.  My coworkers knocked my veggie soup when I told them one of the ingredients was chicken noodle soup.  Then I brought them some to try and they changed their minds.  :) (This has nothing to do with my blog, but as I'm typing, my son is jumping off the end table in the living room with one of my spaghetti strap shirts wrapped around his neck so it looks like a cape pretending he's superman.......just thought you'd like to know)

Speaking of my son, Triston isn't old enough to start saying things about my cooking, but Allyson is.  I'll leave you with some of the times she spoke of my cooking.  :)  BTW, if anyone would like to help me improve my pitiful cooking skills, feel free to send me some recipes or advice!  :)

Allyson Story 1:
At Miyami's Japanese steak house when they cleaned the grill and all the steam rose from the grill, she told the cook that's what it looked like at her mommy's kitchen.

Allyson Story 2:
At Red Lobster (notice we eat out a lot), she ordered macaroni.  It was talking a while for the food to get to the table so she very loudly says, "Their microwave must not be working because it's taking a long time!"

"Gun Powder and Lead" and "Softly and Tenderly"?

I don't know about you, but songs not only take me back to certain times in my life; they also remind me of certain people in my life.  For instance, "Sisters" by Reba McIntyre reminds me of my sister, Amanda, of course, and  "International Harvester" by Craig Morgan reminds me of my husband, Thomas, partly because he works a lot and is a complete country boy and partly because he sings and dances to it when it comes on in the car (it's definitely a site to see). I could go on with others, but there is one in particular I can't seem to assign just one song to....my grandmother, Doris Martin.  It's kind of funny because when I hear the songs "Gun Powder and Lead" by Miranda Lambert and the old hymn "Softly and Tenderly" my mind automatically thinks of her.  Two completely opposite ends of the spectrum, but two songs that definitely describe her to me.

I called to check on my grandma to check on her tonight, and when I got off the phone with her, I really started thinking about what all she means to me.  I don't want to get mushy or anything, but I do want to tell you about her because she is an amazing woman.

At 5'2" and a whopping 98lbs, she is one of the strongest women I know.  She's a little slower to get her feathers ruffled as she's getting older, but she can still be a stick of dynamite when you touch the hot points.  I guess that's why the Miranda Lambert song, "Gun Powder and Lead" reminds me of her.  She's a sweet, country, God-fearing woman, but mess with her family and you'll regret crossing her path.  :) 

She's strong because of what she's been through in her life and because she's got God in her life to give her strength through every battle she faces......that's why the song "Softly and Tenderly" reminds me of her.  She told me once is was one of her favorite songs, and I can see why.  It's a beautiful song that talks about God's redeeming love and mercy.

Family is at the heart of who she is.  She's been a preacher's wife her entire life and raised 4 kids, but she didn't stop there.  You'd think a "soccer mom's" job is done once her kids are grown, but not for my grandma.  She willingly picked up my cousins, my sister and me from school so we didn't have to ride the bus.  She also picked me up everyday in the summer when I went to an art camp one year.  She still picks up my cousin's son from school when he needs a way home.  And she's always had her door open for family to stay when they were going through things in their life and needed somewhere to go.

I grew up in the house right next door to my grandma so when I would get mad at my parents, I'd go over there to vent.  She had this calmness and patience about her.  I remember her sitting in her chair or either playing Scramble at the table with my great-grandma as I was walking in.  She'd take one look at me and ask me what was wrong....then I would "unleash the beast" so to speak while she calmly listened.  She wouldn't say much, but somehow she had this way of calming me down.  Even now as an adult, I know if I call her about something that's bothering me, she has a way of making me feel calm......like everything is going to be okay.  When I start to feel like I'm crazy or everything is falling down on me and I can't take it anymore, I think of her and all she's been through in her life.....then I know I'm going to be okay.  She's the rock in a bag of nuts if you want to think of it that way.  LOL! 

I'm proud that the same blood that runs through her veins runs through mine.  I'm a better person today because of her.  She is the rock and the cornerstone of our family.  She'll leave a legacy behind that will far surpass the riches of this world.  She's my grandmother, and I love her.

I could go on and on, but I don't want your eyes to start bleeding from reading so much, so here's a picture of the most amazing woman I know with my sister, another amazing woman, at her wedding a little over a year ago. PS:  She'd kill me if she knew I posted this picture.  :)

Proverbs 31:28-31
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Potty, Tears and Exercise!

Our weekend was wonderful!  We had a great time watching movies and playing around the house.  By the way,  I highly recommend the movie "Life as We Know It" if you haven't seen it yet.  It was hysterical!

Triston is potty training which always makes for interesting times.  Several times he did his "doody" in his underwear.  He knew he was doing it too.  He would come and tell me he did it and then ask me if he messed up the cartoon character that happened to be on his underwear that day.  If he's smart enough to remember what cartoon character is plastered on the rear of his britches, he's smart enough to know when he's got to go.  We'll get this nailed down soon though.......hopefully.  Other than the potty issues and the typical beating the tar out of his sister, he was great this weekend.  I didn't even feel like I needed a break!

I witnessed Allyson's tender heart this weekend.  She has such a big heart.  Last night we were watching "Army Wives" on Lifetime.  Jeremy, one of the soldiers deployed to Afghanistan, was killed in action, and they showed how he was killed and his funeral.  At the very end of the funeral scene, Allyson dug her head in my shoulder and busted out crying with these huge crocodile tears.  She said, "I don't want Jeremy to die.  That is so sad."  So I explained to her that he really didn't die that they were actors and they were just pretending, but she still kept crying.  I asked her why she was still crying and she said, "I don't know.  I just have tears."  It was too sweet!  She is just like her daddy when it comes to having a big heart.  (Not to say I don't have one.  I just needed to state that for the record.  He just has a tender one about things like that.  :))

On a side note, my weight loss is going great!  I'm down 3 lbs and I'm starting to be able to tell I'm loosing inches by the way my clothes are fitting.  I've been staying committed to my diet, exercising and making sure to fit my protein shakes in everyday.  I even ate zucchini today!  :)  Allyson exercised with me tonight for about 30 minutes while Triston was throwing those little micro machine toys at me because I wouldn't pay attention to him.  Of course his wise decision to throw something at me ended not so well for him.  He was fine after while when he tried to take his temperature by sticking one of those long digital thermometers for under the arm in his ear......then in mine.  :)

Until Next Time, I'll leave you with this thought. "When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."  Here's two of my reasons.

Gettin' Fit!

After all of the honesty shared with me by Allyson and realizing I need to drop several pounds, I've decided to really get serious about losing weight.

My coworkers, Pam and Reuben, and I have started a 12 week weight loss challenge.  Because we are all broke, the winner gets the "title" of "Biggest Loser".  To us.....those are some pretty "heavy" bragging rights (no pun intended). 

I joined the YMCA here in town because 1 they have showers and 2 they don't have any contracts.  I've been a member of McLeod Health and Fitness and Fitness World before,and while I enjoyed both of them, they lacked one of the two above.  I've never really been a fitness person.

Right after Thomas and I got married, I decided to go because I thought I was getting fat (if I could only be that size again).  I would get up early in the morning and go.  I really enjoyed going on Monday, Wednesday and Friday because that's when all the heart patients from the hospital would go.  I'd purposely get on a machine beside them to do cardio because I knew I would feel like I was getting a "good workout" because I was going faster then them.  LOL!  Then I got pregnant with Allyson and that was the end of the McLeod gym membership for me.

Last year I joined Fitness World in Florence and I loved it except they didn't have showers at the Ladies Only gym.  This was not good as most of the time I could only go workout on my lunch break.  I'd get back to work and warn those around me not to get too close for fear that their nose would probably shrivel up and fall off.

Being the biggest I've ever been in my life (except when I was about to deliver Triston), I decided to join the YMCA.  My first workout was going to be yesterday.  Didn't go to well. 

Despite the fact that my pants were so tight my legs were turning purple, I get there and all of the fitness gurus are there training.  Made me feel uncomfortable, but I jump on an elliptical anyway.  Then, I look up and low and behold someone who I use to work with is there who happens to probably be .5% body fat.  So then I get reallllllyyyyy uncomfortable because I remember having a specific conversation that ellipticals are for old people and I needed to be on a treadmill.  I look around and guess who's on ellipticals......OLD PEOPLE!  You got it.  So after 2 minutes, I get off the elliptical and jump on the treadmill.  Then get really uncomfortable because I can see my butt in the mirror and it looks like my cheeks are fighting to push each other out of the way.  So....I get off the treadmill and long story short, I leave the gym.  Moral of this story.......don't go to the gym in the afternoon when all the really fit people are there until I lose some weight.

Today was a different story.  I went to the gym at 11:30 and did a little over 2 miles on the elliptical in 30 minutes and burned about 300 calories.  Plus, there wasn't a lot of people there.  I was back in with my favorite group of people to work out with.......the old people.

Below is a picture of me and my two co-workers who are doing the weight loss challenge.  We took this picture last year at the Rockin' on the Point Event in Charleston that our bank sponsored.  This was a shot we took in the photobooth.

My Kids

This is my babygirl, Allyson.  She turned 5 in November.  Like most little girls she loves her Barbies, Babies, Makeup and Fingernail polish.  She has a great personality and can say some of the funniest things at times.  She loves God and taking care of people.  She is creative, intelligent, and honest......too honest at times.  For example, last week she told me I was her "chunky monkey", and after she blew raspberries on my stomach, she told me you can only do that to fat people.  Also, I bought a lamp for my mantle to light up an area that was too dark.  When I plugged it up and turned it on, I asked her if she liked it.  She responded, "I love it.  And you can see all the spiderwebs up there too!"  It was too funny.  She's my little sidekick.

This is Triston.  As you can see, he is all boy.  He will be 3 in July.  He is full of personality and very inquisitive.  Some of his curiosities have resulted in things such as diaper rash cream all over his furniture, in the carpet and in his DVD player, paint on the floor, creating a homemade slip 'n slide in the kitchen with dawn dish liquid and water and of course painting himself with fingernail polish.  He is very loving and keeps me "occupied".  He is my baby boy and somehow no matter what he does and how mad I can get at him, he manages to melt my heart with his little smile.

These are my kids.  They are my heart.  I look forward to sharing our stories with you.  Until next time, I'll leave you with this scripture.

Psalm 127:3-5

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

A little about me

My name is Adrienne and I work full time in the Marketing Department at First Reliance Bank, a local community bank in Florence, South Carolina.  I am the mother of two wonderful kids (Allyson, 5 and Triston, 2).  My husband, Thomas, is a logger and owns a logging outfit with his dad.  Needless to say, I am BLESSED beyond measure.

I started this blog mainly  because of my kids.  They are getting to the "never know what they're going to say or do" age and I thought this would be the easiest way to share my stories with family and friends.

So.......with that said, I hope you enjoy the stories that are to come in this blog I call the "Carter Craze".  I titled it "Carter Craze" partly because we are a crazy family :)  and partly because I'm crazy about them.

Below is a picture of my family taken by Morgan Atkinson of HA! Photography.